Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
