She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
