I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
