i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
