I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
