i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the raccoons are back...
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