If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
