I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Me too!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
