I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
