normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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