So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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