she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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