you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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