its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
