I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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