Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
