You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
