just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
