omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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