I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
