i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
