Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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