were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
