worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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