This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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