their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
