I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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