The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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