dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
