Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
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Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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