Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize