He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
