do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize