I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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