I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
