this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
