And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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