it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
