Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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