I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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