I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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