I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
