Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
