Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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