And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
