if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Boobs are out for the taking
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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