I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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