she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
