we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
PANTIES FOUND
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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