I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
