Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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