Church boner. Awkwardddd
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
