You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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