I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
