He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
