Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
