i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
