Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
