She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
