The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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