I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
