it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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