my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
