haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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