If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
