I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
