We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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