had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
