"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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