My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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