can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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