I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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